Over the past year, I have been in constant discipline of trying to get myself to a point that would please God. I have been put through test after test; I have failed some and I have prevailed over some. I am far from perfect, far from being a model, but I am constantly striving.
A little over a year ago, I received a phone call from my girlfriend informing me that we were to break up. I tried convincing her that I truly loved her in an attempt to keep the relationship alive, but had I truly loved her, I would not have had to explain myself to her; I would not have had to try to prove my love to her. I realized this within the hour after we had said our final goodbyes.
This is when I honestly and meaningfully prayed The Prayer for the first time. I do not remember the exact date, though it was in March. I had prayed The Prayer before, but it was so that I could be part of a group, so I could feel accepted.
After this night, I became amazingly close friends with one of my other ex-girlfriends. We would get together and talk about life, current events, friends, happenings, and how God had been working with us. I felt closer to Him than I had ever felt before, though I wanted more...
I think it was around the third time that she had rejected me, which was in July, that I had come to acceptance with God's Will. I finally realized that everything in my life, he had planned. I gave Him complete control of me, and let Him do with me what He pleased. I came to terms and decided to look at life from a new perspective.
Doing this has made me able to cope with things much easier, and I have found that I am much stronger that I once was. Knowing that what is happening in my life has been planned out and is happening for a reason, if not only so I can know myself better, has taught me to let go of discrepancies in my life. The fact that He is up there in Heaven right now, waiting for the day when I can leave this place and come somewhere that is infinitely better pleases me everyday, gives me a reason to not let this world get the best of me.
